Where Have I Been?

Where Have I Been?

I can’t believe it’s been two months since my last blog post! I’ve been wanting to write again for a while now, but I wasn’t sure what to write about and I’ve also been very busy so it’s been easy to make excuses as to why I can’t blog. But here I am, and that’s all that matters!

I think this post will be a bit of a stream of consciousness. I like the idea of just sitting down and writing instead of overthinking what I should write about. So apologies if this is all over the place.

The short answer to where I have been these past two months is: working. I started a brand new job the first week in October after taking some time off from work for about three months. It’s crazy that a month and a half has already gone by at my new job! I’ve been loving it so far, from the work I’m doing to the people I’m surrounded by, to the overall culture of the company. I’m still doing social media marketing, so the work feels familiar, but I’m learning a lot of new things and I’m excited for the opportunities to learn even more and grow in this new position. Overall I’m feeling very hopeful for the future of my career, which is something I couldn’t have said a couple months ago.

The more abstract answer to “where have I been” is: working on myself. As I mentioned in my Life Changes post, I have been through a lot of changes in the past few years. What I didn’t mention is that I have also been through a lot of change in the past few months. Starting around May, things started to shift in my life, and at times I felt really out of control. I felt like everything was happening to me, and I will admit I probably played the victim a bit. I kept wondering why. Why was I forced to leave my job? Why did my relationship have to end? So many things happened over the summer and into early fall, and I won’t lie, it was really difficult for me.

I felt like I had two choices: I could either use this time as a growing experience, and try to learn more about myself and figure out how to be happy, or I could wallow in my misfortunes and give up. As you might be able to guess, I chose to be happy. I found my new job, which I feel so lucky to have been offered. I started spending more time with friends and family. And I started working harder by myself and in therapy to become a better version of me.

I wish I could say I had some kind of huge epiphany, or that I have some sage wisdom to share with you about what has changed in these past couple months to make me a happier person, but I don’t. All I know is that I am feeling really confident in who I am right now, and I’m feeling really happy with where my life is. Of course I still get sad and angry and scared like everyone else, but overall I feel that right now I am in a better place than I have been this entire year.

So with that said, I am making a commitment to improve myself even more, by doing things that make me happy. I’ve been working and spending a lot of time with friends, but as a result I have let some of my hobbies and passions fall to the side. I haven’t been blogging, and I haven’t been exercising as much as I’d like to. So I guess I’m using this blog post as a way to promise myself I will try harder to do those things more often. This blog post is a good start, and I am heading over to do some yoga with my mom after this!

Like I said at the beginning, this post was more of a stream of consciousness than anything, so bravo if you’re still with me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’d love if you would leave me a comment and let me know where you’ve been lately, however you’d like to interpret that question.

How To Navigate Life Changes

How To Navigate Life Changes

Fear of change is pretty much universal. Nobody likes the unknown, and everyone gets comfortable with what they are used to. But inevitably, our life will change whether we like it or not. Some changes are expected, and others are a total shock to us.

I don’t have any data to back this up, but I think our 20’s might be the time with the most change. As a 24-year-old, I feel the last four years have brought the most changes of my life so far. I studied abroad for a semester, graduated from college, got my first full-time job, moved into my own apartment, lost a relationship, left my job, had family structures shift, and lost my relationship again.

Through all of these changes, some good and some bad, I managed to keep my head up and stay relatively positive, using some of the tips I mention in my How To Stay Positive post.  Lately, I’ve been thinking of ways I have been able to navigate change, and I wanted to share some of my tips with you all.

Live In The Moment

As I mentioned above, everyone is afraid of the unknown. It’s easy to worry about the future, especially during times of change when our future seems so unknown to us. It’s also easy to dwell on the past, and wish that we could go back to what we had before. However, neither of these patterns serve to make us any happier. Change happens, and we can’t go back to what our life was like before. We also can’t predict what is around the corner. All we can do is make this day, this moment, the best it can be. Focus on living in the now, and let life take you where it takes you.

Embrace The Change

There is always a silver lining to whatever change you are experiencing. Change can be stressful, but it is also an exciting opportunity to have a fresh start. You are starting a new chapter in your life, and you can take whatever course you want! I was terrified when I left my job, but I also felt a sense of freedom because now I can choose what I want my next step in my career to be. Do I want to continue working in social media? Do I want to give real estate a try? Or do I want to do something completely different? I’m embracing this life change and looking forward to what is to come.

Create Routines

Part of why change is so frightening is that we feel like we can’t control it. Feeling out of control is never fun, so I try to find small things in my life to take charge of, to set up a sense of routine. For example, my mom and I have been taking walks every morning during the week. Starting my day with a walk (and girl talk with my mom) not only helps me feel happier throughout the day, but it also helps me feel like I am in control of at least one portion of my life. Setting small routines like that is a huge help when everything around you seems a bit chaotic.

 

I hope this helped you all, or will be of help in the future when your next life change occurs. Let me know in the comments how you’ve been able to get through big changes in your life!

Dear 2016

Dear 2016

Dear 2016,

I want to start out by thanking you. You threw a lot of changes, hardships and surprises my way, but every one of them taught me something and made me stronger. I also want to thank you for all of the beautiful, fun, magical moments you brought to me. If you talk to 2017, tell it to send a few more of those my way this year.

I started out the year pushing myself out of my comfort zone and signing up for an improv class. That decision turned out to be one of the best of the year. Improv brought me a new group of friends, gave me a hobby to focus on once a week, and also taught me countless life lessons. Though I decided to stop improv a few months ago, I will always be grateful for the time I spent with it in 2016.

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You brought one of the biggest changes of my life in March, 2016, moving into my very own apartment and learning to live all by myself for the first time. I remember agonizing over the decision of whether or not I wanted to live alone, but now that it has been about nine months, I am so glad I did. Being by myself has forced me to be more independent, and has also made me to learn how to balance alone time with social time, something I think I have been doing a great job of in the last few months.

2016, you really made me work for things this year. You pushed me to stop being lazy in life, and to go after what I want. This has manifested in many different aspects of my life, from improving my physical and mental health to being happier in my social and work life. I feel much more confident in what I want and what I need to do to get it, and I know I will only continue to be better about this in 2017.

You really tested my ability to stay positive during the last two months of the year, but in doing so, actually taught me to be more optimistic. At times it felt as though the hardship and tragedy was never ending; a breakup, the loss of a childhood friend, changes at work, political strife in our country. Through it all I managed to stay positive, and learned healthy coping mechanisms to get me through the days. I also learned the important lesson that no matter how bad things seem, there is always something to smile about.

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As I write this in the new year, I am so happy with where last year took me. I learned so much about myself and I grew a lot as a person, and I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have been in a while. I have an incredible support system around me, from friends to family to coworkers, and in some cases, these relationships have been strengthened by the tough times I had to face.

So thank you, 2016, for all of the moments that made up this year, good and bad. I wouldn’t be where I am right now without them. I can’t wait to see what 2017 will bring!

– Shelly