Reflecting on 2019, and Sharing my 2020 Intention

I have a really great feeling about 2020. Last year was a year full of changes and uncertainty and pushing past fear and being brave. This year I want to use everything I’ve learned to really come into my own. I have so many creative ideas and new projects I’m excited to start working on this year, and I really feel like 2020 will be my year to shine!

My intention for 2019 was courage, and I definitely feel like I carried this word with me throughout the year. 2019 started out with a couple months of unemployment, where I dove into figuring out what I wanted my next job to be, and having the courage to think outside the box. When I landed on working as an assistant preschool teacher, this was one of the more spontaneous and unexpected decisions I’ve made in my life. Making this career change took a lot of courage, and forced me to move past fear and shame around changing careers, taking a large pay cut, and trying not to worry about other people’s opinions.

2019 also forced me to be courageous with my personal life, jumping back into dating after a long time of consciously choosing to be single. I got into a relationship again for the first time since 2017, and had to push past a lot of insecurity and doubt and worry around opening up to someone again. Allowing myself to be vulnerable with a new partner was not easy for me, and although that relationship ended right at the close of 2019, I’m happy it happened and proud of myself for not letting fear stop me from putting myself out there. That relationship taught me a lot about myself and personal growth I still need to do, as well as what I’m looking for and not looking for in a partner, and what I’d like to find in the future. It also taught me that pushing past the fear of being hurt is worth it, even when the relationship ultimately does not work out.

Looking at the year ahead of me, I’m feeling extremely optimistic about many areas in my life. The word I’ve chosen for my intention for this year is Confidence. I want this year to be my year of being confident in everything I pursue and everything I do in my life. I have so many things I want to accomplish this year, and the main thing stopping me is a lack of confidence and a fear of failure. I’ve been working really hard at improving my self-esteem and self-love, and I think remembering to act with confidence in every aspect of my life, will really help me to be happier.

Confidence has never come naturally to me, but I do have a history of pushing myself to work on being more confident. When I was younger this started with my passion for acting, when I started getting the lead in my school plays in middle school, later diving into the world of musical theater and choir in high school. I was terrified every time I stepped on stage, but taking my bow at the end of the shows gave me a certain confidence I hadn’t had before. This year I want to carry that idea with me into some personal creative projects I’m working on (I hate to be that person who says they have exciting projects coming that they can’t share yet, but…stay tuned).

I’m looking forward to continuing 2020 with confidence, and I have a feeling this is going to be a great year for me! What is your intention or resolution for this year? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

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