I’m not behind, my timeline is just different than yours

I’ve never done things at the same time as other people. My life has always seemed to march to the beat of its own drum. When I was a teenager and my friends were getting their first boyfriends, I still hadn’t even had my first kiss. I remember feeling embarrassed and confused. “Is there something wrong with me? Why am I so behind?”

Ten plus years later and I still feel that way at times. Now my friends are getting married, getting promotions, going to grad school, buying houses. Meanwhile I’m single, starting over in a completely new career, unsure what the future holds. I often wonder if I’m doing something wrong. Those same fears from my teenage years creep back into my mind. “Why am I so behind?”

I have to constantly remind myself there’s no “right” time to do things, no “correct” timeline for my life. Just because other people are doing things sooner than I am, doesn’t mean I’m behind. When I did finally get my first kiss and my first boyfriend, I remember thinking in hindsight that the timing was perfect. It may not have happened the same way, or at the same time, as my friends, but it happened the way it was supposed to for me and my life. Just like my first kiss and first boyfriend, I know all of the things I want to happen in my life will happen for me in due time. I just have to be patient.

Everyone’s timeline is different, and that’s what makes life so unpredictable and beautiful at the same time. Imagine how boring life would be if you knew exactly what was going to happen to you, and when? Where’s the fun in being able to predict, or control, the timeline of your life? Part of what makes life interesting and exciting is how impossible it is to plan what will happen next!

A year ago, or even six months ago, I never would have guessed where I would be today. I had no idea I would make a huge career change to become a preschool teacher. I didn’t know I would be moving into a condo by myself in an area of town I’ve never lived in before (blog post about my move coming soon!) I may not be getting married or buying a house this year, but I’m sure I will have other big milestones happen that I never would have imagined a few months ago. I’m ready for whatever life wants to throw at me! I’m just along for the ride.

Do you ever feel behind? What do you do to help yourself feel better? Leave me a comment with your thoughts. I’d love to hear how you relate to this topic!

9 thoughts on “I’m not behind, my timeline is just different than yours

  1. I’m almost 23 and have never been in a relationship, not even a dumb high school one. I know people going on 5 years, people living with SO’s, ect. Because of this, I feel like I am very behind in life and even in, like, basic human interactions.
    And I know I could in theory really make more of an effort on Tinder and kind of force my way into a relationship, but that’s a dumb idea because just settling wouldn’t be productive or really help me moving forward in life. So I guess reminding myself that some things can’t be forced and some things aren’t a mandatory feature of a successful and happy life is what I do when feelings get me down.

    1. Thanks for sharing! I definitely agree there’s no point in forcing something, and I believe the timing always works out for the best so you will find a relationship when you’re meant to! I definitely understand how difficult that can be when everyone around you seems to be in long term relationships. Just stay positive and true to yourself! 🙂

  2. Love this Shells!! I can totally relate on comparing my “timeline” to others’ and feeling like I should be getting engaged/married, buying a house, etc. just because it seems to be the thing to do at this age. Ultimately, I trust that God is orchestrating a beautiful plan for my life and He knows the best time for me to experience those things. It’s so freeing, rather than trying to keep up with young adult life milestones at the same pace as everyone else. Love you and so appreciate this post! Well said!!

    1. Thanks girl! Yes it does feel freeing to just trust that everything will happen when it’s meant to, and not try to focus too hard on what other people are doing. Love you!!

  3. I feel behind all the time! All my friends are married, on to their 2nd kids, and I’m still here – just me. People ask me all the time when I’m getting married and I’m like you constantly asking me about it isn’t going to make me find a person any faster!

    1. I feel that! It’s so frustrating when people ask questions like that. It’s like “when I’m dating someone, I’ll let you know!” Haha

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