If you, like me, watched the finale of The Bachelorette last night and had TOO MANY THOUGHTS, you may be able to relate to this post. If you don’t watch the ridiculous dating show, consider yourself lucky. You probably spent your Monday night doing something productive or fun. And if you’re in the small minority who does watch the show but for some reason didn’t watch last night and you don’t want spoilers, you might want to click away now.
But if you’re interested in hearing my take on the final episode of Rachel Lindsay‘s search to find love, read on. (Side note: I hate the phrase “find love”. It makes it sound like love is an object that you can just happen upon while walking down the street).
I didn’t have much of a reaction to Eric being sent home. I just had this feeling that he wasn’t the one Rachel would choose. They had more of a friendship in my opinion. However, I agree with all of you who tweeted about how amazing his family was during the hometown visit, and how amazing his beard looked on last night’s live show. I also watched this interview former Bachelorette Ali did with Eric on her YouTube channel, and I love how positive he is. I’m sure he’ll find the right woman for him soon!
Moving on to the painful, heart wrenching, and at times infuriating section of the finale that was Rachel and Peter trying to come to terms with their difference of opinion on the idea of a proposal, and more specifically, a proposal that would hypothetically take place THE NEXT DAY.
I have to admit, I sided a bit more with Peter on this one. However, I could see where Rachel was coming from too. So I’ll make it simple and break out my understanding, and my thoughts, on each of their stances in this “argument”.
Peter is a realist and a bit of a cynic (something Rachel has actually called herself on multiple occasions). He is also fairly traditional, in the sense that he believes an engagement is essentially as important as the actual marriage. And he only wants to be engaged once in his life, and of course only wants to be married once in his life. One of the lines he said during the show was “being married doesn’t scare me, having multiple marriages scares me.” He really hit the nail on the head with that one. That’s such a universal fear. Everyone has the fantasy of being married one time and one time only.
With all that being said, Peter made it clear he saw a future with Rachel. He just didn’t feel ready to propose to her YET. He wanted more time for them to get to know each other in the “real world” before getting down on one knee and asking the question he feels is the most important of his life.
This is not Rachel’s first rodeo. She has been in plenty of serious relationships, and has even been on this show before. She knows what she wants, and what she wants is a proposal at the end of the show. Period. That is not something she is willing to compromise on. She also talked about a previous relationship where she was with him for 5 years expecting a proposal at some point, and it never came. So her biggest fear would be continuing to date Peter without him proposing, and then realizing it was never going to happen.
Rachel also views engagements a little differently than Peter. She thinks it’s okay to get engaged and then continue to get to know that person better before getting married. From what I understand, she thinks that if you know you want to be with that person, proposing is the next step in starting your life together.
Like I said, I tend to side with Peter in this one, especially since we know the show is filmed over the course of a couple of months at the most. And when you really break it down, that only consists of about four actual one-on-one dates, and one overnight date. Would I expect someone to propose to me after that amount of time, especially considering the lack of alone time? Heck no!
I also think that a way Rachel and I differ in our opinions is that I believe it is possible to know you want to marry someone in the future, but still not be ready to take that step towards marriage right now. In my mind, if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with this person, what’s another couple of months, or years, to get to know them and build a strong foundation?
With that being said, I also respect Rachel for knowing what she wants and going after it. I saw an interview with her where she said that in 4 years, she sees herself “married and with a couple kids.” She’s clearly in the phase of life where she’s ready to settle down and start a family, and she’s ready to start that life as soon as she can.
The heartbreaking part of this whole breakup was that I couldn’t help feeling that if this had all taken place in the “real world”, without the pressure of a proposal on a certain timeline, Rachel and Peter may have ended up together. Who knows, maybe all Peter needed was an extra month or two! But alas, this happened on a show where a proposal is expected, and where the lead of the show is certainly expecting it. So in the end, their difference of opinion, and Peter’s hesitation, was a deal breaker.
Like the Eric elimination, I really didn’t have any strong feelings about Bryan “winning.” Honestly, the proposal itself was a little forgettable to me, and after all the Peter/Rachel drama, I just couldn’t really wrap my head around a proposal happening with someone else. I also didn’t like that the show spoiled that he won, by bringing out Peter and having him and Rachel discuss the breakup before the proposal had aired. It kinda felt like Bryan won “by default.”
With that being said, I will say that Bryan and Rachel clearly had great chemistry from the beginning, and he was someone I predicted would make it to the final two. And while he is not the type of man I would personally choose for myself, that doesn’t mean he isn’t right for Rachel. I really do wish them the best, and I hope they are truly happy together!
What are your thoughts on last night’s finale? Did you predict she would choose Bryan, or were you shocked by the Peter breakup? Let me know in the comments! And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter to read back on all of my (sometimes sassy) thoughts from this season.