Life

Life doesn’t always go according to plan

Hey everyone, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’ve been really itching to start blogging again, but I just haven’t been able to decide on what to write. Writing about Spain was easy- who doesn’t love writing about travel and adventure? When I got back from Spain I told myself I would keep writing about random things, and I had plenty of ideas, but alas, my senior year began and I just didn’t have the time or energy to make an effort. I also kept telling myself that my life wasn’t interesting enough to write about.

Fast forward to now: I am a proud TCU graduate with a degree in Public Relations and Advertising, and a Spanish minor. However, there are a few things in my life that are not at all how I pictured them. When I was going to TCU, I had this whole plan for what things would look like after graduation: I would have a full-time job that I loved, I would be living in Austin in a cute little apartment all my own, and I would be surrounded by great friends. In reality, I am currently living back at home with my parents, I am still looking for a job, and I suddenly feel as though all of my close friends are elsewhere. This situation, and the fact that I find myself utterly unable to control my own life, has been very difficult for me to handle.

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I have always been a planner. I loved planning fabulous birthday parties for myself when I was growing up. I was always the friend in the group that would get back in contact with everyone from high school and plan group get-togethers whenever we were back in Austin during college. And I used a calendar and planner religiously for my college classes. I just like to feel in control, which I think is a natural desire for most people. I have also always been a dreamer and an optimist. I have thought up countless ideas for books and movies inside my own head, and I am constantly trying to see the brighter side of a situation. This has made the reality of my life even more difficult, because I have had to realize that some things cannot be controlled or planned. I have applied to and interviewed for countless jobs, but in the end have had no real tangible control over whether or not I land the job. The optimist in me keeps telling myself that those jobs just weren’t meant to be. That I will find the right fit eventually. But it’s hard not to start feeling defeated and take things personally.

I suppose all you can do is try your best to reach your goals, while also realizing that sometimes life doesn’t go according to the plan you have laid out for yourself. I always pictured myself getting a job before I graduated, living on my own, and generally living up my post-grad life. But you know what else I pictured myself doing at one point in life? Being a professional ballerina. Starring in a movie. Joining a band. Playing intramural sports in college. Getting my Hogwarts letter. Dating Ashton Kutcher. You get my point.

Thinking about all of those dreams and plans that at one point seemed so important to me makes me realize that sometimes it’s best to just sit back, relax and enjoy life as it unfolds. Without trying to micromanage it or decide your own fate. I didn’t die from not playing sports in college or becoming a famous actress. And I certainly won’t be killed by unemployment.

So if you are in my shoes, and you’ve been feeling down about the seemingly unfair cards you have been dealt lately, just remember that it gets better. Okay that was cheesy. But seriously, remember that not everything in life can be planned, and not everything will happen the way you hope it will. Just take a deep breathe, and keep working towards your goals, without beating yourself up or concentrating on your “failures”. And if you NEED to feel in control over something, try making some small decision that you know will make you happy. For instance, I just cut my hair shorter after having it long for a while now. I’m loving the new haircut, and it weirdly makes me feel very empowered. Like I have a say in the changes in my life. I may not have full control over when I get a job, but I sure as heck have control over when I get a killer new look!

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Comment below if you have gone through what I am going through. I would love to hear any pieces of advice you might have for staying positive and letting go of things that aren’t in my control!

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11 thoughts on “Life doesn’t always go according to plan

  1. Hey Shelly, I’m entering my senior year of college and the way you had pictured your life after graduation is similar to the way I’ve been picturing mine. It’s so hard to continue blogging when life gets busy so I hope I’ll continue to but who knows. Nothing ever goes as we plan but that’s okay. I’m going to look into your posts on studying abroad. I was going to go this upcoming semester to London but after applying through my school and my financial aid + loans, I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t want to go into more debt. I’ll definitely regret not going, I already do but maybe after college while I’m looking for a job I will find a way. Don’t ever feel like you’re life isn’t interesting enough to write about, you never know who could see your blogs and connect to what you’re going through. Good luck on the job search & keep on blogging 🙂

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    1. Hi Daniela, thanks so much! 🙂 You’re so right, about not knowing who will connect to what I’m going through. That is one of the reasons I want to keep blogging! It’s nice to know someone will read what I wrote and relate to it. I’m sorry study abroad didn’t work out for you right now, but I think going abroad after graduation sounds like a great idea! I know a few people that did that before they started working. Study abroad was an awesome experience and really changed me a lot, so I would definitely say you should try to make it happen if you can! Also, senior year can be busy, but your blog seems really great, so you should keep writing if at all possible! I’ll definitely be reading it 🙂

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  2. One of the most frustrating aspects of life is having the ideal v. the reality. I will say though…my ideal would have been far too boring. You end meeting and experiencing a whole wealth of things that you wouldn’t have had things gone as planned. Hang in there!

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    1. Thanks! That is very true! Looking back, I don’t think I would’ve actually liked starting a job right out of college. It would’ve been stressful and not as much fun as relaxing and going on a vacation, which is what I got to do this Summer. 🙂

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  3. Hey Shelly! I’m mostly in the same boat: tirelessly job searching and moving back home this week. I do get frustrated but have worked on adopting the mindset of “funemployment” so that I can enjoy this free time while it lasts and know that the right opportunity will come along, and it may be out of my control. I’m curious to hear where you land and what your next steps will be. Wishing you all the best!

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    1. Hey Katherine!! Great to hear from you! That’s a great mindset and word for it. I have definitely realized that I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed starting a job right out of college anyway. It’s definitely been nice to relax and get some down time after graduating. And I totally agree that the right opportunity will come along eventually. I’m curious to hear where you end up as well! Good luck and keep me posted! 🙂

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  4. I got lucky in that I worked through school so I currently have a full-time job and don’t have to live with my parents (not that they would mind haha), but in a way, I wish I didn’t have the bills to pay because it limits the way I can job hunt. Depending on your parental situation, this could give you an opportunity to find a part-time job that could lead to something full-time down the road. I’ve had two companies that I applied for offer me part-time instead of the full that I interviewed for with the chance for full later on, but I couldn’t accept because it wouldn’t come close to covering my rent. Just something to look into.

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    1. Funny that you mention that, I actually interviewed for an internship position that would be about 25-30 hours/week that I am definitely considering. They made it sound like there is a very strong chance of getting hired full time after the internship is over, and it would give me time to save up some money for my own place in the meantime.

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  5. Hi Shelly, I’d like to say a few things but first, let me give you virtual hugs.
    You are young, beautiful, and upon reading your blog I could tell that you are very smart too!
    You’re in your 20s hun, ENJOY each moment. You will never be able to go back to where you once were. When I was in my early 20s, I was rushing to earn money, to find the perfect job, to be with the perfect guy for me so I could marry him at age 25 and have a baby by 27. To tell you honestly, NONE OF THOSE HAPPENED. I was switching jobs like I was changing clothes. My boyfriend broke up with me for someone else. I wasn’t earning much. But you know what happened?

    I went to so many beautiful places because of my jobs. I met a lot of people and some of them became my very close friends and I’m still friends with them now. I learnt different languages from these close friends of mine. Because I’m used to dealing with diverse nationalities, I was open to communicating with other people. I wasn’t afraid of being asked for directions or joking around with tourists whilst I was busy walking the streets in foreign lands. Because of all of these, I now have the man of my dreams, and the experience I need to have to start the business that I’ve been dreaming of. I am happy with my life because I know I’ve lived it to the fullest. 🙂

    Enjoy each and every day, sweetheart. Life is too short to live like you’re always chasing something. Do not be anxious. Like what they say, it’s not the destination that matters but the journey. Besos, mi amiga! ❤︎ !vivir la vida con alegria

    ✽_✽ ❤︎ laineyloveslife

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    1. Hi Lainey, thanks so much for your sweet comment! It really made my day to read all of your great advice and your personal experiences. You are definitely right that I should enjoy every day and stop worrying about attaining something perfect. Thanks again for your comment! ❤ 🙂

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